Recently, I attended a workshop by some developers on Rails. The awesome things one can do with that framework BLEW my mind. My mind has been having these uncontrollable power outbursts recently; but that’s for another post.
I first learnt about Rails during it’s first release – 1.2 to be precise. The famous “Build a weblog in 15minutes” tutorial spread like wildfire. I also did other cool miniature apps that till this day still sit on my hard disk searching for the light at the end of the tunnel; a day when they can go live on the Interweb. So I’m not new to the business. But ever since 1.2, I didn’t build apps again because of preoccupation with God-knows-what. 2.3 was the next version I heard of… Then came 3.
After the workshop – in which the mentors walked U’s through making a weblog (same old drill), the itch sort of came back. Web development in Rails was the ish once again. I mean, no offence to raw HTML5, CSS3 and jQuery or even Flash. But Rails has me on a train headed for God-knows-where. But the journey is sweet nonetheless.
To scratch that itch, I decided to further the workshop’s blog and host it on my pseudo-server (this is where I call out to the management of UToronto to make it possible for U’s to have Rails backends on our web spaces; PHP is becoming like MySpace).
You can view the outcome of the tutorial and let me know what you think. The first time you click on it, you may get an error; just refresh the page. Unfortunately, the only name I can remember from the workshop is Tanzeeb. You can reach him on Github. Thanks to Xtremelabs and the other game company that was there. Mozilla rings a bell too; big ups!
The journey has only just begun.
This is one big concept amongst growing teens. Most teenage love fall under this category. The main actuator for this type of love is passion – in every ramification of the word. Passion drives infatuation.
This is a continuation of Love Series.
First, some biology. Passion is a very strong emotion. We cannot talk about passion without touching on the subject of emotions. All emotions emanate from the amygdala in form of direct signals that bypass logic processing to our motor neurons (or/and other parts of the body that may be concerned). See, the human body constitutes of much super junk the mundane intelligence is illiterate to or oblivious of. The pre-frontal lobes of the brain sits behind your forehead and does most of our logic processing – reasoning. The amygdala bypasses this to make us do stuff. That’s why when we react almost simultaneously to impulses and we are asked why we reacted so, out only logical response, “I felt like it”. Read this for more on emotions. Infatuation is the most biological of the types of love that exists.
Now, while the biology is done and gone, how does this apply to infatuation? In terms of love, infatuation in itself is the process of amassing passion for an individual. Most times, what they do excite you, the way they look gives drops cocoons in your stomach which turns into butterflies in your belly in a matter of seconds. Bottom line, Infatuation is self-centred. One who is infatuated over another does not care about the world. To him (or her) the world is a straight line originating from them and ending at their love. You learn more about (or stalk) your love, tend to know everything, if not most things, about them. Passion comes from the greek word, πάσχω (paskho), meaning to suffer or to endure. Notice that when you are infatuating over someone, their flaws, shortcomings and things that naturally will anger you or leave you irate will not become trite. You will find no reason to take offense.
How do you now if you are being infatuated on? (Pardon the last two words of the previous sentence for I know not if that is a viable phrase in English). You may not explicitly know if someone is infatuated over you. Most times, they come to limelight with their intentions – this may take longer for introverts as compared to extroverts.
Sex fuels infatuation. Another biological phenomena known to man since his beginning. Before sex, emotions are aroused. This is often referred to as heat – in humans and animals of lower intelligence. Fascinating, because if you measure your temperature at that point, it remains normal. After sex, hormones are blaring and this is often mistaken for love. As blood drains from your brain to your genitals, you have less options to think through your action. The amygdala kicks in. It is possible that sex can exist without love as sex is only a biological phenomena but vice versa is impossible – “the fire/flare runs out“. Sex, when carried out for the right reasons, spawns commitment; however it should not be the basis of love.
My perspective? Infatuation can lead to other types of love. As stated earlier, it is most rampant amongst teens. Many of them grow together and discover new types of love, commitment and maturity and this helps broaden their scope. It is good to infatuate a little. Dont dwell on philosophy for love, lest you become the wives of Plato and Socrates and Aristotle. I would like to end with the following quotes.
- Sex is emotion in motion. – Mae West
- To love someone deeply gives you strength while being lived by someone gives you courage.
In a harsh freezing weather, scheduled was a soccer practice. The wind, clashing vehemently with people and slowly always suggesting what direction the ball travelled made the practice even harder. I arrived late and got on the field. In 5-7 minutes, my while body goes numb. I practice on and get fouled at some point. Since my body was numb, I got right back up, I didn’t feel a thing. After practice, I look down at my white-socks-turned-red and slowly, the pain set in as panic creeped in.
This is the methodology pain uses to affect people. First comes the acknowledgement that something devastating has happened. “devastating” in this context is relative to the range of events which your mind has ruled to be a mundane happenstance. Then comes the panic (from a programmer’s point of view, this is an infinite loop of worry) which beings the pain. The panic has to be there to throw you off your cool because pain knows that no matter how large its impulse is, a logical approach will always reduce it’s effect.
Bringing this post home; whenever you are in that break up where you think it is the end of the world, take your mind off it (like it never happened). This will cure the panic of “what do I do now? Where do I go from here? You were everything. etc…”, thereby finishing the effect of the pain rapidly if not instantaneously.
My personal procedure for dealing with uncontrollable impluses that may seem uncontrollable is.
- Stop talking
- Take two steps backwards & watch your feet while taking these steps
- Head back up high and speak
If you are in a position where you can’t carry out this exercise, visualize it mentally. It works!!
The dream of a specification shines vivid.
Still hope and courage love darkness
Clinging onto hope and telling her the dream
Lights the flame torch in my harness.
Rolling in confusion, thoughts produce creation
New hearts are born, new passions are farmed.
And still the dream of a specification shines viv…
Her light is dimming.
I search for Ms. Hope & Mr. Courage; for they are my rocks of ages
But rocks they are
Laying cold with the darkness…to the new friend they found
“Hello Darkness, I need my light”
“A dream once vivd, her light is dimming.”
Grabbing a blanket would keep the dream warm
But would blanket her light turning her completely off
Yet she shivers in cold, bones jittering
Shinks with myriad phobias, her light flickering
I walk up to her, she flinches. It’s sickening.
But she’s my only light and I try to let her know
Wherever she goes, her maiden is in me
“Service so true honours you my dear”
“I will stay, all day, everyday, not straying…I’ll keep the faith.”
“I pray you see purpose, drive and the fire in the flame to burn onwards & press on”
Exhausted I stand…hopeless, yet still hoping
She stares blank and shocked at my speech which raged with motivation for us both.
Softly but clearly, she mutters, “Unbelievable”. Her first words.
Air leaves my lungs at jet speed
Shoulders shrug, brain becomes heavy with though weights, head drops.
Turning to leave, giving up on the dream, hope, passion and all that made me be,
I take a last peek to get one last glimpse of the once-a-pretty-picture I was about leaving behind.
Then I see..stare…puzzled at something I never did notice:
Her eyes were golden and glowing.
Tears, so cold, down they roll, slowly.
It was then her first words got to me through the ever so impedimenting medium of discouragement and despair.
Her first words pierce my diaphragm like the arrow that went through Archilles’ archilles.
Words that broke every perception of my thought theories.
Then, like the outcome of a kindle in the presence of benzene,
The vampire surrounding my heart received sunlight.
Ever so gracefully, though hope still dwindles, passion burnt brighter.hotter.fiercer!
Why it burnt, I knew not, but pleasing it was
So pleasing it surged through every dendrite, epicentre & fibre of my being
I grew taller, stronger, faster…
With no real direction but towards The Dream…my new miss.
Everey strp brings me closer, beneath my feet greener.
Reaching her means the end yet I yearn for death like it’s a gateway in a closed box.
A turn-on instead of a switch-off.
Screw hope. Hope who left me hopeless left me for dead.
Embrace passion. Actions of passion show me The Dreams embrace.
Together we walk; not The Dream but her pathway.
For one day she’ll being me to my shimmering glimmering end.
The Dream: She is a specification that still shines vivid.
Now, hope BUT courage loves darkness.
© Owajigbanam Ogbuluijah